Lucid Nightmares

Marcelo H. Del pilar did this…so i guess it’s ok if I do it too. Remember I am not propagandizing the "party". I am not a supporter (I just study it) and I am not planning any destabilization plot. I am an innocent civilian…who enjoys criticizing stuff. Anyway, I did this for my character, Greta Dimasilaw - an activist leader who is supposed to shine during the 2010’s….

The Seditious Creed

I believe in Marx, the father almighty, creator of the Communist Manifesto. and in Engels, his loyal friend. Marx who was conceived of alienation, born of the bourgeois’ evils, suffered under the industrial revolution, was crucified, died and was burried. He descended into the proletariat class. he ascended into history, sitteth at the right hand of Mao Tse-Tung and Lenin. he shall come again to judge the capitalists and the poor.

I believe in the manifesto, the Communist party, the communion of cadres, the punishment of greed, the futility of the governemnt and life everlasting.

Amen.

I am not mocking God but those people who ally themselves with the Church and at the same time do ungodly things.

Thank you.

If you are a fan of my flash fics (or a really kind friend) read on…if not…i don’t care. My pc is wreaking havoc at the moment and I had to transfer all my files to my email…sigh. here it goes:

Hunger

            When anger arises and the body calls for pleasure he stops, sits and talks to himself. How stupid, he ponders. I should have thought of myself.

            A cold breeze escapes the thick moldy curtains, making his exposed skin shiver. He tightens his tie, his insides craving for nourishment.

            She calls him. Honey, I will be late okay? He answers with a smile, as if she could hear him smile. But still it is understood that there is nothing else to do. He would have to wait – even if the reservation was for an hour and a half ago.

            He looks around, fifth glass of wine in hand. Damn, if only she was half as warm as this wine. Well she’s hot but not warm. The kind of warmth alcohol gives you as it slithers downward into your stomach. Sigh. How pitiful he has always be.

            He wonders if the other customers could hear his stomach grumble. He tries to cover it up by coughing. Sir, would you like to order now? The waiter asks. He waves in denial. No, maybe later. He looks at his watch,

9 pm

.

            A girl in a green dress enters. Did you wait long? She kisses him on the cheek. I’m so sorry, bare leg rubbing his thigh. She sits closer. Let’s get out of here okay? Let’s just skip dinner. She pleads, pulling his sleeves from under the table. I promise to give you a good time tonight.

            He gulps, staring at his empty glass. Okay, he resigns, just in time for another contraction. He crumbles the wad of money in his hands. No need for that anymore. It’s going to be a long night.

Well instead of going to my org’s acle (alternative classroom learning experience), "our metaphors are manufactured dissent", I had to go to CNS’s(center for national studies) because of sir garcellano… not bad i guess… the movie "In time for the butterflies" was pretty ok for a hollywood film..and on and on sir babbled away… well enough about that…I’m thinking of moving this damn blog to another site…I’ll be working on it..In the meantime I have to read 3 books..no biggie..1 a day would be just right…:) Ciao!

maybe i should write more controversial posts…hmmm..but then that would be exaggerating…i’ll just wait until a new issue comes up…thanks guys for commenting! at least i have something to do…

btw…yey! my mom allowed me to join the overnight field trip to puerto galera…phew…that was a close one…another bonding activity for me and my boardmates (jen and tin2)..hope rowcee and justine can come too…

Hi sal! I love what you wrote… Miss you already friend

To kuya jay..of course I know that…they are more known as pro-choice and pro-life feminists. Pro-choice feminists advocate abortion and contraception…so as not to burden the women from the responsibility of an unwanted pregnancy (which is the fault of both partners..but in rape, only the man’s fault). The pro-life on the other hand adheres with the church. I cannot say which is right from wrong because I believe in a pluralist world…we are all diverse so there cannot be only 1 truth…there are a lot of them which may even contradict each other. I’m actually interested in what they call socialist feminism which links the problems of society with gender-based issues.

With regards to my english prof (the present…not my fave english prof)…I don’t really mind…he’s a really challenging professor and I’m really game.

And really…being single forever is not that bad I think…you’re not really single if you surround yourself with people who loves you and you love back.

I’m glad that the number of comments are about to reach the number of posts I have written…as of now this is my 99th post and I already have 86 comments. Yippee!!!!!

Oh my God..you guys so got the wrong impression. I have nothing against gays and lesbians (I have lot of friends..). But actually, ask my close friends, when I get a crush on a guy I crush really hard…and I tend to be obsessive… If not that guy then no one will fit me…actually the closest answer is that no one has risen to my standards yet…the guys I like are the ones who don’t like me. Sad right? *ouch* - according to my cuz who’s reading while I enter this entry. And so that is the bitter truth…I’ll just wait until the right guy comes along..if not then maybe I’ll stay single forever..I’m not afraid of that actually…

Please…no more wise cracks about my sexuality..my english 11 prof already asked that. right reg? He said are you sure you’re female? I said, "Is it questionable?" He just laughed…he thinks I’m just a face with no brains… damn him…but I proved him wrong during the following meetings..I still won’t succumb to his level (as kuya jhune puts it).

Ciao! Should I put out an ad for the right guy?

With my push to feminism is my hatred of men…but I seem to be still be hoping for a life with a special someone. Note: I am not waging war towards every individual man. I am against the whole shit of patriarchy and oppression. Anyways I listed here the reasons why I am still single:

1.) No decent man has approached me yet

2.) Although my parents seem to be over that no boyfriend thing I am still afraid of their reactions

3.) I have a lot of other responsibilities that I cannot imagine leaving

4.) I am still afraid and at the same time angry at men in general

5.) I am afraid to be possessed, played with or rejected

6.) I feel that to love is to be a fool (in a good way)

7.) I seem to scare guys off…probably because of the things I say or do… I am too outspoken I guess

8.) Well maybe guys like easier preys?

9.) I’m ugly? Which is opposed to my narcissistic belief that I am beautiful

10.) I don’t really know…

11.) I am cursed

12.) I am scared that if I get to have a boyfriend I will be banished from our club NBSB (No boyfriend since birth)

Note: answers 8-12 are uncertain

Why am I still single? Can you answer that?

jay_eesn: women already rule the  worl why should men die?!
jay_eesn: heheh..
abysmal_reverie: if we rule the world then there won’t be any form of pornography or sexual slavery
jay_eesn: is it?!
jay_eesn: tell me…who decides what a man should eat at dinner..
jay_eesn: or what clothes we wear
jay_eesn: we buy the houses and u decorate them make it your own teritory…
abysmal_reverie: but then it is man who decides that women look better in skirts…they are the ones who said that chinese women should wear metal shoes…
jay_eesn: the messed up thing is that you make us think wh rule the world when in fact we dont…
abysmal_reverie: they were the ones who said Indian women should be burned alive with their dead husbands
abysmal_reverie: they are the ones who lower the wages of women…
jay_eesn: and because ot those skirts and because of thoes lotus feet hou hold us in the palm of ur hands…
abysmal_reverie: and women who couldn’t get jobs to support their families succumb to prositution..
abysmal_reverie: it is all a bait…
abysmal_reverie: it is all a joke…
abysmal_reverie: how sad this world is…
abysmal_reverie: hindi pala..how SADIST this world is
jay_eesn: hahah..
abysmal_reverie: what do you agree now?
jay_eesn: when a woman cries..men grow weak…
abysmal_reverie: sorry ha mainit lang ulo…
jay_eesn: u control most of us…
abysmal_reverie: but not all…
jay_eesn: women are not the weaker sex…
jay_eesn: men are we are nothin without you…
jay_eesn: we are useles without the women to take care of us…
abysmal_reverie: we don’t want domination, we want equality…for every kind of woman…even those who are at the poorest levels of society..
abysmal_reverie: well…I heard all of that before…now i realized that’s just to pacify us…
jay_eesn: pipol are never content on equality.. there is no demarkation line on equality…
jay_eesn: so people tend to wan more…
abysmal_reverie: so we cannot fight back…
abysmal_reverie: and realize that there is still something wrong…
jay_eesn: when the acheived ther goal they find out that oh this still isint right…
abysmal_reverie: but the fact is, there is no equality…how could we want more?
jay_eesn: and find somthing higher to acheive..
jay_eesn: its human nature.. pipol can never be content..
jay_eesn: and they shouldnt…
abysmal_reverie: then what do you think about prostitution? why is there such a thing?
jay_eesn: being content lowers your epectation in life being content makes you midiocre…
jay_eesn: hahah ur difenitly contradicting ur point…
abysmal_reverie: how is that so?
jay_eesn: see.. prostitution is not all about sex. its all about power…
jay_eesn: the dominated one is the one who has the gratest amount of power..
abysmal_reverie: so there you know it also…
abysmal_reverie: the power over women…or the lesser person
jay_eesn: see… a prostitute can have asenotor client and the bastard cant do anything fir she blows hi whistle…
jay_eesn: and the senetor knows that still he opt to go for prostitutes because men are weak..
jay_eesn: we follow our urges..
abysmal_reverie: it is a kind of job that is unfair…
abysmal_reverie: some people say that the answer is legalization…
abysmal_reverie: but it will only tell men, "ok…you don’t need to contain your sexual urges…you can buy women’s bodies"
jay_eesn: if it was leagalized then no one will do it… its dirt that they crave for.. prostitutio is not all about sex…
jay_eesn: its about the fear of getting caught…
jay_eesn: the anxiety that u fucked a prostitute…
abysmal_reverie: but they are not only buying bodies…women are not retail objects..
abysmal_reverie: no some men will actually go for the legalization thing…
jay_eesn: men go for prostitutes not to cheat on their wives…or buy bodies..men go to prostitutes for psychological reasons…
jay_eesn: hahah..
jay_eesn: this will freak u out but its true…
abysmal_reverie: do you have any proof?
jay_eesn: yeah…
jay_eesn: look
jay_eesn: i am a husbund with 3 childrean…
jay_eesn: and i pay my billls work heard and get stressed out…
jay_eesn: at night i go to my wife whom i love so much….
abysmal_reverie: you cannot see the answer in the surface..you must reach deeper into the roots of society..of slavery…of democracy and even religion
jay_eesn: but i cant ask her to do nasty things to me…
jay_eesn: and from these nasty things i get relief…
jay_eesn: listen..
abysmal_reverie: well that’s it..if you love your wife and you know she’ll get hurt when you go to a prostitute (so you keep it a secret) then you are saying you are just like a dog…
jay_eesn: i love my family thats why i cant bear to have my wife suck my dick kos thats the mouth shell be kissing my children with yeah…
abysmal_reverie: a dog who cannot just stop thinking about sex
jay_eesn: so i go to a prostiturte fro no guilt sex..
abysmal_reverie: i already won..
jay_eesn: thats the psychological part of it…
jay_eesn: ah!
jay_eesn: the keeping the secret part is not for the wife…
abysmal_reverie: ok I have to go now
abysmal_reverie: thanks for the debate…
jay_eesn: the keeping a secret part is for you….
jay_eesn: to turtour ur self with cos u know its wrong…
abysmal_reverie: its getting dark and I don’t want to be the next girl in front of the newspapers…
jay_eesn: if u tell her the secret u pass her the pain…
abysmal_reverie: which is another thing about women oppression - rape…
abysmal_reverie: but that’s for another episode…
jay_eesn: yeah…
jay_eesn: sure..
abysmal_reverie: Ciao!!!
jay_eesn: bye…
abysmal_reverie: no hard feeling?
jay_eesn:

What do you think guys? Who won?

Note to kuya jay: I admire you for not backing out…i hope you don’t mind that I posted it here….

I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR………… I just realized how men are so apathetic about prostitution….in our classrooms it is a laughing matter…a thing of reality that will always be there…but it is a very rooted problem. I just forgot that I was once a feminist… how absent-minded could I be…

I feel so bad…I feel so apathetic…

Well you see we were talking about sex workers in class…and I, being an active student, usually chats non-stop…I always try to be friendly..and so we discuss it as a group then i had this feeling that these prostitutes we are talking about are as if being referred to as things. And how about women? Well are they not women too? I feel so confused…

Damn…now I understand why there are Marxist feminist and other kinds of feminists…what is this all about?

I suddenly felt that every guy around me is filthy…I felt so little in this world…so scared…

Well…I just remembered that a journalist has no private life…I want to give myself to the people…well…to women

Everyone should be careful..sometimes we are being gender-biased… or even discriminatory of race or sexuality. Think before you speak.

well atlast nakatapos din ng isang exam..bahala na….un lang..hehe…nedyo hindi ko ma-organize ang utak ko…magulo, malungkot…makalat…wow senti…:)

Ang buhay ay …isang kalokohan
Ang buhay ay isang kasinungalingan
Ang buhay ay isang walang kwentang bagay na pinag-aaksayahan natin ng panahon