Lucid Nightmares

Location: At my mom’s office
Other people present: none
Activity: Secretly writing in my blog and taking a peek at my friends blogs while stealing the office ink and paper because a while ago I printed tons of chords and tabs
Emotion: Terribly happy
2 words: internet happy

Things running ’round my mind…

The Apocalypse
Will I ever make it to the big world? Will I ever live long enough to reach my dream and be a starving artist? Mind you, although I have a thin physique, I am not starving…that is my ultimate dream…like all the other writers who trapped themselves in their room and wrote voluminous works…I wonder if i’m ever going to be like them…
sometimes i feel hopeless..maybe art does not belong in our country…maybe i should really try to escape from this sick world of poverty and mediocrity…do people reallyn care about their integrity and truth… Which should I choose? Journalism or creative writing? Should I choose at all?
We are here for a purpose..I’m sure of that..everyone of us was made for everybody else…because if not then we should have not survived…but maybe God is starting to realize that we are not doing what we must do…will the apocalypse come?
Trivia: The Mayas prophesized that the world will end in December 23, 2012…they have never been wrong in their astronomical observations…and in line with this was the bible code prophesy that stated the same year…the world is to end with a comet or meteor
Could all of these be true..I hope not because thats justa  few years from now…I have a life to live, a dream to achieve….

Ghosts
Do you ever wonder if maybe we are just in this world that is parallel to another one? That the ghosts we see are just visible manifestations of the presence of the other world in line with ours? Maybe its of a different time….you know how film looks like when it is exposed…somehow the pictures overlap each other…maybe thats how these so called ghosts appear…maybe its also our world…just a different time line…and we are living in this roll of film that keeps on getting reused again and again… Do you believe in ghosts? They say you should see to believe..I have already seen but I don’t believe? Why? Because the idea is so farfetched you wouldn’t believe yourself…you’ll think that probably a few screws in your mind went a little loose…maybe its just your imagination..but in the end you wonder….why?

Fear
How do you define fear? The feeling a person feels when he or she is affronted by something that challenges his or her existence? The feeling you come by when you see something scary? What is the meaning of scary or scared? Is it something slimy? or furry? or transparent and ghastly? Why is there not a definite definition? Why are we linked with words that don’t have sense at all…why is it that the word itself does not define the thing that has the word as its name (PHilo 1). Words are intangible yet we speak of them as if they also exist in the real world. Is it possible that we (mankind) only exist in someone’s mind? Is it possible that we are just part of a film that someone plays on…a film that doesn’t stop…a film full of cliches and loops…a film full of things called "human"? What is human anyway?

Sense
I wonder if I’m still making sense…maybe not..maybe you’ll dismiss me like what other people do… But do you ever stop to think that maybe we have no right..we have no life..we are just marionettes made to think that we have free will and we choose our own destiny…I guess its too much…as they say..a person is like a flowing river…we must not open much for we may overflow and damage a lot a lives….i read it in one of Kafka’s stories…he said that we are meant to only know what our mind can handle…if we force ourself  too much….in layman’s terms…we may make ourself crazy…

Do you think I’m crazy? I hope not..I’m starting to think that I do have a little of what they call sense.

Ok…so have you heard about Neil Gaiman and his famous comic series? Well word has it that he is sponsoring a nationwide comic and short story contest here in the Philippines… be sure to join…check the website: www.fullybookedonline.com

hi guys! well i’ve been spendin’ my vacation just cleanin’ out my uninhabited room…i’ve accidentally found a dead rat behind one of the cabinets…really gory…when you sweep him away he sounds like really crunchy paper and his small skull is protruding under his neck.. that would be a new material for my new story :)…I love true to life based stories…most of my stories are…I’ll post it when I get to finish it…

Not another sleepless night

Last thursday, the night of the spectacular though budget conscious lantern parade, I wasn’t able to got to the concert of the UP underground community after coz I needed to study for my english long exam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes more torture from my beloved prof (whom I have a crush on…hush hush ok..its a good thing he hates blogs) well i was so scared that i might flunk this exam (he is very notorious..rumor has it only 3 passed his class last sem)…so i denied myself a night of moshpits (though my parents allowed me to go)..and studied until 2:30am miracuosly I didn’t even feel a little bit sleepy..instead i wanted to study more and just don’t sleep at all…but my roomies said i should (seems that they can’t sleep with the lights on and said that i might black out the next day anyway…

so i did sleep a little…thats how much i love the subject (and the teacher hehe)…the exam was about 7 items…but a question costs you 25 pts already… i hope i passed….if yes then AMEN to that!!!

ciao!

*cough cough*

the reason why i entitled the previous entry, homecoming because tomorrow I’ll be going to my high school…to get my yearbook!!!!

Copy of YM mes to batchmates:

Guys…Cristina informed me that she saw T. Mean the other day and said that the yearbook is already out..and so we might check it out tomorrow… I repeat if this is a hoax…it is not my fault but the fault of the other 2 mentioned above.. *evil laugh*

I didn’t mean of course to drop the blame on them..i’m just washing my hands..

anyways..to those intersted in kafka…here is a website where you can copy for free the works of Kafka…

http://www.mala.bc.ca/~johnstoi/kafka/kafkatofc.htm

I wish that people will know more about his works but I hope it won’t go mainstream because I would still want to keep him for myself…:)

Ciao!

See you DLA tomorrow morning!

Well I have just been to my first oblation run experience…and i don’t think its THAT special as other girls would scream and shriek at the gooseflsh parade… actually i didn’t know how to react..if you see me in tv…don’t blame me..i’m just trying to seem interested…

well whats the deal with naked men? its not the whole point of this event anyway…but the reason for their running …

trying to be models of oblation…what they did is a sign of sacrifice..maybe protest…but alas i was kind of disappointed for only a few of them held banners… oh well…atleast the rallyists were there to remind us…but i don’t think most of them were reminded…

and so i went back home (while my boardmates went to SM) to study for my exam tomorrow…yes Sir Falgui doesn’t really care if he was absent for 2 meeting in a row and that people are going home tomorrow…his test should be the most important thing in the world…well it is - atleast in my world…where he was the first terror prof that i encountered - thus eventually made me have a liking to him…because i am challenged by his work or fail rule…

i love challenges…i just took this break to catch up on the outside world… I’m so happy ate Kat brought me the book I wanted - Almost married by Tara Ft Sering…:)

Oh well I need to do other things…next time I’ll write a more thorough entry…

Thanks guys for reading this stinking blog!!!:)

PS: I already talked to a band…I might as well push trough with my birthday after my mom and I agreed that black will NOT be the motif…i wish she agrees with pink and black…

Ciao!

HELL-O! Damn this fine rainy weather…I’d be wearing arm warmers the wholemonth! Yipee!
So how are my compatriots out there? I feel a little cold…
Well currently I’m at the UPlibrary surfing the net without educational content…but I guess they won’t mind…
Yesterday I was able to come across one of my funkier getups…its so nice experimenting with clothes..it will be featured in my new story that I was working on a couple of hours ago…
well actually I had a dream, woke up and continued it in my mind…now I have a plot..all I need to do is to finish the latter half…(that was at 12-2am this morning - when a writer grasps a idea he shouldn’t let it go..so now i have puffy eyes..i slept only for 4 hours and my prof didn’t went to class! damn…but ofcourse that would be my fave prof…is he sick? how sad… our test is on wed next week and he is notorious for making students suffer with failing grades.but I’m not going to be one of them..i’m going to prove to him that i’m worth a passing grade…)
Well the day before yesterday was our xmas party in the org and ate Melai was the one who picked me (how can you say "nabunot"in english?). Anyways, she gave me a Kafka book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!

KAFKAESQUE

Well I first came across this word in my Reader’s digest dictionary. It means that it is somewhat a surrealistsic nightmarish world as describe in some of the stories of the Czech writer, Franz Kafka…
And thats when I became interested with his work… and I must say…that they are quite disturbing, morbid and might give you a nightmare…but it is a work of a great writer….
Every serious writer should be able to read his stories…its sort of open ended and it makes you wonder about things…very allegoric i guess…and most of it were based on his life…(twisted a little).
The first time I read his book…I put it down after the fourth story…it just gives me the creeps… notjust in a horro or bloody kind of way…it gets to you…psychologically. he’s always trying to point out something - an injustice in life I guess…but he delivers it in a subtle way…
I just can’t explain it…just read it for yourself..
Metamorphosis is his greatest work but The Penal Colony is my favorite… Pretty bloody… It will stain your thoughts forever…
I’mgetting hooked now… what fun!!! and pretty scary… *evil laugh*